it’s that time of year again. When all of Europe (and recently Australia) come together for a night of laughing at each other’s musical talent waiting to see who wins through the corrupt voting that plaques the last few hours of the show. The Eurovision Song Contest – the epitome of Schlager and Euro-cheese but undeniably better than anything else that is broadcasted to our nation.
I look forward to it every year, with sole curiosity concerning why the subjective countries have chosen their acts and why on earth am I so into this colourful mess. This year will be the 62nd Eurovision after its debut in 1956 – held in Portugal following the rather soft ballad that won in Kiev. As with every year it is expected to be filled with countries putting forward acts from the same genre and style in the attempt to bring their country the ‘honour’ of hosting the contest the following year. Of course this never works. the perfect example being Jamala who won in 2016 with a ballad about the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 1944, completely tearing apart the legacy of political silence within the song contest.
However the politics can also bring a perverse sense of joy whilst watching the voting that seems to last a week. Britain hasn’t won since 1997 with Katrina and the Waves and seem to want to stay at the bottom of the table with unsuccessful acts like Katie Price and Engelbert Humperdink. Now our chances are even slimmer following the EU referendum as songs about unity are not exactly convincing. Nevertheless watching countries uncomfortably try to make small talk with the hosts and sending their 12 points to economic and political superpowers is quality entertainment in itself. Even more so if you were to take part in a multiple drinking games that have been invented to make the long night easier to survive through.
Of course it would be wrong to assume that I watch the show only for the politics – obviously the acts themselves are worth the 5-6 hours alone. The most enjoyment comes from the acts that make you want to scream internally: a top contender for this category would be Romania’s entry from last year which consisted manly of yodelling and very aggressive kissing. Another highlight from last year being Croatia, a man half opera half pop who’s act started with possibly the most pointless Einstein quote of all time. I still voted for Croatia – it was incredibly ‘Eurovision’. This year we have the pleasure of Israel’s song ‘Toy’ which features chicken noises and an ode to the ‘Cellblock Tango’ with a list of random sounds at the beginning of the song. The Portuguese predecessor labelling it as ‘horrible’ and that he is relieved he didn’t have to listen to the acts of this year. Annoyingly to Salvador the chances of an Israeli win may just follow the success of Lordi in 2006. A Finish heavy metal band who one dressed as creatures of another universe. It had iconic lines like “it’s the a-rock-alypse” that clearly shook the whole of Europe.
No matter whether you voted for the winner or your nation came last – the winning track will end up being stuck in your head for the next month. And the following year, revisiting the old winners will also lead to the attempted recreation of Loreen’s Euphoria or Conchita’s Rise Like a Phoenix (a shower ballad classic). The key to Eurovision is to just go with it. It’s an odd bag of different song and predicting a winner is near impossible. No matter who much you hate Euro-pop there is always something to laugh about when watching your nation attempt to gain the support of a whole continent (and Australia).
my brain 